"Barra, barracuuuuuda"

I'm caught in a struggle between fantasy and reality. I am constantly reminded of my current state, however the beauty of imagination is that I can be anywhere I want. And with anyone. This is not so much the state in which I live but rather where I wish to be. Laying in another bed, under a star flecked sky and a flawless individual has his arms and legs intertwined with mine. I can feel every heartbeat, every exhalation, every slight quiver or movement. Pressed flesh against flesh, heat radiating from our bodies. I can look up over a shoulder at the moon and know that this is where I'm meant to be. Life is always perfect in the fantasy, he's just there, an amalgam of sheer perfection. But from the fear of letting this fantasy escape, I become head strong and strong willed. Determined to settle for nothing less, and why should I? I am sure that this is possible, I just have to allow it to happen to me. Let life pounce when least expected. I anticipate being caught off guard, does that not create a conundrum? Life, itself is a conundrum. I expect I won't know what to expect. So I'm going to sit back, eyes closed, but I won't hold my breath.